The following is an exert from chapter 6 of the book Missionary Guidebook For Ladies by Mindy Bush

Obviously, like anyone going through great change, your child is going to have an adjustment period where you should be prepared and ready to help him through these big life changes. If you are going to the mission field with older children, this is especially more difficult. You will have to watch your own attitude around them and be as positive as you can about the changes you are going through, but be real with them at the same time. When they are discouraged or lonely, listen to them. Help them find their identity in Christ. Help them focus on God’s love for them and watch for the ways that God hears and answers your prayers so that you can encourage your son or daughter. Be excited about being on the mission field and serving Jesus. Our attitudes are contagious whether we have a bad one or a good one!

Everyone needs someone they can talk with! When your child is talking to you, try to put things aside and really listen to them, no matter what they are talking about! I know it is very hard to do, and as a mom that has many tasks to finish in the day, many times I have had to say, “Can you follow me to the laundry room so that we can keep talking about this?” But when you listen to them talk about the mundane things going on in their life, they will know that you are also interested in talking about the big stuff. When someone has hurt them or they are stressing about something that seems silly to you, listen to them! What matters to them should matter to you! If they feel they can’t come to you with the little things in life, they won’t come to you with the bigger things of life!

Because of the fast-paced, technological world we live in, many of us (including our kids) are easily stressed out. Do your best to try to minimize stress in their lives. For example, if you know that it causes them stress when you get them to school late, try to prevent that from happening. If you have a teenager who is especially stressed out around babies, don’t offer her to babysit for someone with a baby. I’m not saying to baby them, but to understand and help them through stresses. Everyone is different and you can’t push your teens into a mold or something they are not. Some boys are very energetic and love going outside to run, but others are more intellectual and want to stay inside and read. Let them be who they are. 

At the same time, life is tough and the sooner they realize that, the better. We tend to want them to think that life is all fun and games, but it’s just not always going to be like that! Most days are just normal, average days and that’s ok!

On the other hand, help them to learn to enjoy life! And that means that you as the parent need to learn to enjoy life and not take everything so seriously.

More importantly, pray with and for your child about the difficult things he or she is going through! When they know you care enough to hug them and pray, they will learn to do this on their own. Our God is always ready to hear us when we cry out to Him, no matter the circumstance or our age! Teach them to go to the ONE who has the answers.

There is so much more that can be said about raising children, but many good books have been written on the subject, so I would encourage you to always be reading and growing in this area. Be intentional with your kids. Pray for them daily. This time goes by much faster than you realize. Soon they will be making their own decisions and living life on their own!

The following is an exert from chapter 5 of the book Missionary Guidebook For Ladies by Mindy Bush

Ideas to Practice the Language

• Go to every service and activity that is held by the church you are attending while in language school. Go on retreats and camps, sing in the choir, serve in the nursery, go on visitation, or help the church secretary. Do everything you can to immerse yourself in the language!
• Carry a notebook around with you everywhere you go. Write down words you see in the market, on the street, in the grocery store, and on signs. In the church services, write down every word you understand in the message. Pretty soon you will find that you are understanding so much you can’t keep up with writing them all down. At this point, write down every word you don’t understand. The next day ask your teacher what these words mean.
• Invite a friend to go with you to the market or store and have them help you with the pronunciation and meanings of different things. The first question you should learn in any language should be, “What is this?”
• Watch the news in the native language. Usually the news anchors will speak with the best grammar. At first it may seem like gibberish because they speak so quickly, but after a while you will start picking out some words. Most people who successfully learn a language spend a good amount of time each day listening to the radio or watching the national news.
• Hang out at the park (especially if you have children) and listen to the children yelling things at each other. Listen to mothers giving instructions or commands to their children. Write them down!
• Read your Bible in the national language. At first it may take you an hour to get through one chapter. Look up each word in the dictionary so you are understanding it. Be careful to not let this substitute your daily walk with the Lord. If you aren’t understanding anything, you aren’t being spiritually filled. This also will be difficult in languages that do not use the Roman alphabet until you learn the characters that make up your alphabet.
• Read the Bible to anyone who will listen to you. Memorize Bible verses.
• Learn to cook the food in the country where you are living. Ask another woman to go with you to the market, buy everything you need to cook the national food, and prepare an entire meal from start to finish. Invite national friends for dinner and you have just spent a few hours “learning the language” and having fun, not to mention learning LOTS about culture!
• Use technology to learn the language, but don’t depend on it all the time! There are apps that can translate everything you want to say from English to the language you are learning. This can be detrimental to your language learning. There are apps that can allow you to order a pizza without speaking a word to anyone! Be careful to not rely so much on these methods!
• Memorize their national anthem and the songs that you will be singing in church, as well as Bible verses and the books of the Bible!
• Switch up the people you talk to and spend time with, even if you are comfortable with a specific person. After a while those who know you well will understand you whether you say it correctly or not, and you will think you are getting good in the language even though you’re not. 

You will need to maintain a close relationship with the Lord during this time of your ministry! Learning a language is time consuming, mind-boggling, and stressful. Add this to the fact that you are also learning to deal with cultural issues and adjusting to being away from family and friends and everything familiar. YOU NEED THE WORD OF GOD EVERY SINGLE DAY! Make some adjustments in your schedule and have time with the Lord! I can’t stress this enough. You must be growing spiritually daily or you will be spiritually “on empty” every day!

Remember that this too shall pass! Language school will pass, but learning the language will never pass. You may be comfortable after a while in the language, but you will always be learning. Don’t wait until you feel that you are “fluent” because you may never get to that point! It’s a good goal, but your goal of being a missionary is not to become proficient in a language; it is to reach others for Christ.

The Most Common Language Learning Obstacles

• Pride – Everyone deals with this! You must revert to learning like a child for a while if you are going to learn! You must be willing to take correction.
• Shyness – It is hard for a quiet person to get out there and talk to people. Get over your shyness and make some friends. You will need to force yourself.
• Fear – Not willing to leave the kids for a few hours a day. Fear of saying the wrong word or speaking in public in another language.
• Segregation – Talking only with the other missionaries when you are at church or other gatherings. You can always get together with them another time! Not only does it look like all the “Americans” want to hang out together, but you will also be holding yourself back from learning the language.
• Unwillingness – It’s too hard to go back to “school” and learn something.
• Laziness – It’s too much effort.
• Technology – It is more tempting to turn on the TV or connect with friends and family back home rather than do your language school homework.
• Patriarchal cultures – In some middle eastern countries, it is hard to find women out and about. The men run the businesses and the women stay home with the children. You may need to hire a houseworker just so you can have someone to practice the language with!

The following is an exert from chapter 4 of the book Missionary Guidebook For Ladies by Mindy Bush

Deputation can bring out the worst in us if we let it. It may sound glorious to travel all over the United States, visit churches, and never have the responsibilities of home, but when the newness wears off, the negativity surfaces. If you keep your heart and mind right, there is no reason to complain about deputation. God is so good to get us from here to there, taking care of our needs, and blessing us in a thousand little ways along the way!

There are so many pluses of deputation. Think on the positive. What you think becomes what you believe, which directly affects how you act! If you are a negative person, it’s going to come out everywhere you go. You will complain about the long trip, your kids acting up the whole way there, the hotel room, everything. If we aren’t careful, we will start to feel entitled. We think we are sacrificing so much and therefore should be treated better. To combat the negativity, memorize verses to help you focus on the right things. Philippians 4:8 says “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” 

What kind of attitudes should you have on deputation? Be excited that God has called you and your family! I have met some missionary wives who act like they have no idea what they are doing and are only along for the ride! Get on board with your husband! 

Remember that your attitude not only reflects the Lord, but it will also affect if others will want to become missionaries. Many people who have surrendered to missions were around missionaries that excited them, not the gloom and doom ones.

Be grateful! Don’t come expecting anything from churches! It takes away their joy when you ask for something before they can even offer! Maybe it’s been a long day and you want the church to have a nursery or class for your kids so that you can have a break from them. But this shouldn’t be the first thing you are looking for when you enter the church building!

Write thank-you notes everywhere you go and as soon as you can! Thank before you bank (the check). Carry thank you notes with you in your purse or vehicle so you can always be prepared to leave one for the pastor’s wife or host family.

10 Reasons Why Deputation is GREAT!

1. Watch first-hand God’s provision for your family!
2. Meet some incredible people!
3. Gather many ideas for your future ministry.
4. See God’s awesome creation.
5. Make lots of memories with your family!
6. Raise up future laborers for the mission field!
7. Meet in person the people who will sacrifice and pray for your family.
8. Minister to others.
9. See the need around the world as you meet other missionaries!
10. Time to grow spiritually, read or listen to good books on the road.

The following is an exert from chapter 1 of the book Missionary Guidebook For Ladies by Mindy Bush

The single most important focus for you right now is your own walk with God. Your husband may be an amazing preacher and great spiritual leader in the home, but you cannot live off of his spiritual life. You must develop your own relationship with God. Are you serious about living your life for God? Do you seek Him daily through prayer and reading His Word? Do you ask God for wisdom? Do you rely on His strength?

“Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you.” James 4:8

“The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances.” – Elisabeth Elliot

Hard days will come! You will feel exhausted, frustrated, lonely, and discouraged! Your walk with God today will determine your future! Psalm 55:22 has been a comfort to me throughout the years. “Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”

Pray for your husband! He is stepping out on faith, believing God wants to use him in a wonderful way, but it is a scary task! Fear will invade his heart. The enemy will discourage him and try to get him to quit! Pray that he will be faithful, that he will be encouraged and that the Lord would direct his paths!

Thank God you have a man who is willing to do what God wants! There is no better life than the life lived serving our Savior!

“I believe that in each generation God has called enough men and women to evangelize all the yet unreached tribes of the earth. It is not God who does not call. It is man who will not respond!” Isobel Kuhn, missionary wife in China and Thailand.

The church is the pillar and ground of truth (1 Timothy 3:15). It is the body of Christ (Ephesians 4:12), of which He is the head (Ephesians 5:23). God has chosen to do His work in this age through the church. Baptism (Acts 2:41), the Lord’s supper (1 Corinthians 11:17-34), giving (1 Corinthians 16:1-2), exercising God-given gifts (1 Corinthians 14:12), sending forth laborers (Romans 10:15; Acts 13:1-3), and the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19–20; Mark 16:15) are undeniably connected to the church. Since the times of the New Testament, the work of God has been inseparable from the church. Grasping the importance of the church is needed for a missionary to fulfill his role on the mission field effectively.

The Great Commission can be divided into two evident sections: evangelism and discipleship. The church and the people of God begin by telling the sinners, but they continue by teaching the saints. The task cannot be accomplished without the church. The church is needed for “Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:20).

As Mark Coffey, a missionary in South Africa, says, “If they have a church, they have a chance.” Every city and every area needs a gospel-preaching church. The church is God’s training camp to spread the gospel worldwide.

A missionary goes to the field with ambitions, hopes, finances, preparation, and plans. There’s hope for people in that area while the missionaries are present, but what happens when the missionary leaves? If a church is established, the chance of more people being saved and more being taught is greater for everyone. If the missionary starts multiple churches, clearly the impact is greater. The beautiful fact is that the missionary can prayerfully plan to start multiple churches, hence helping cause the greatest impact possible. Let’s consider a few things a missionary will do to start multiple churches:

1. Every church needs a local pastor.

It’s not the job of a missionary to pastor every church, although he will certainly need to be a pastor for a while to teach others how to pastor. A missionary will pray and be attentive from the very start for those whom God may use to be prospective pastors. He will love them, equip them, pray for them, be patient with them, and help them successfully lead others.

2. Missionaries must keep moving forward.

The crowd in Mark 1:38 wanted to set Jesus up as their leader for that area. Jesus responded saying, “Let us go into the next towns, that I may preach there also.” A missionary will get a map and a burden to prayerfully plan where churches need to start all over a city and country. A missionary won’t settle in so much that he will build a perfect, comfortable church he will never leave. The philosophy of one mega-church versus multiple smaller churches will affect how he does ministry. He will keep the map in front of him. He will constantly tell his church and perspective leaders the need for more churches and pray that God will help him start more churches.

3. Missionary church plants don’t need to be large. It is possible!

The average church in the US that sends out a missionary is around 60 people. It’s not just the large churches supporting and sending missionaries; it’s the smaller ones, too. Many of them have bi-vocational pastors, not full-time supported by the church. It is sometimes thought that a church cannot send a missionary or start another church if they only have 50–60 people, but that’s proven to be the perfect size for sending out laborers. Understanding this will help the missionary look at the mission field with belief, sharing with his congregation that God can use them to start other churches.  

If you would like to find out more about what it means to be a missionary, click here. Jason Holt and Jeffrey Bush discuss the difference between a missionary and a pastor.