The following is an exert from chapter 7 of the book Missionary Guidebook For Ladies by Mindy Bush
Continued from last week…
Fight the Urge to Retreat in Your Home.
Get out. Walk around your neighborhood. Be seen. Smile at people. Visit the same coffee shop, corner store, or meat market. You’ll soon be recognized. There’s nothing that says you’re at home, like a neighbor saying “good morning” in your new language.
Go on tours. Be a tourist in your own town. Sign up for local excursions. Get to know your city, its history, and culture. It is fun to discover new things! Don’t be the missionary who lived in a city for two years before visiting the park two blocks from their home! Enjoy life like you would in your own country.
Spend an hour or two at a busy park, observing people. Learn the way they do things. When you eat at a restaurant, notice everything around you. Remember, although it is different to you, it is normal for them. You are in their country and you must try to adapt to the way they do things. Something as simple as mimicking the way they use the silverware (or chopsticks) can go a long way toward winning the heart of the people where God has called you.
Join the choir or get involved in the church that you are attending (church camp, outreach opportunities, fellowships, revivals, etc). This will help you stay busy, meet people, learn culture, and feel more relaxed in your environment. Plus it makes for great memories! At church, don’t hide behind your phone. In fact, whenever you are with people, try not to be “catching up” on social media or emails. This can appear very rude in most cultures. Don’t hide behind your kids either. Don’t use them as an excuse to not talk to the people in the church. Babies are a people magnet and a great way to get conversation started.
Have a Mentor Back Home
Is there a godly woman in your life who can give you godly counsel and encouragement? You should know whom you are going to contact when you feel like you can’t go on! Of course, you should first turn to the Lord, but it’s always good to have someone who can speak truth into your life and remind you of God’s promises. Be careful not to call the person who will only tell you what you want to hear or discourage you even more from being there. Most of the times, pride keeps us from reaching out to the ones that we know can help us. Whether it is through email, text, or phone call, no one can help you if they don’t know what is going on. Sometimes it can help tremendously to talk it through with someone and ask for their prayers during the dark days ahead.
Be Determined to Keep on Going!
This is the only time I will tell you to be stubborn and fight! There will be dark days. There will be times you want to just give up. Have your cry, then get up, and keep going! When we let the enemy win the battle, we miss out on what God has for us! Too many missionaries have left the mission field because their wife couldn’t take it! Don’t even let this be an option. If you moved cross country in the USA, you would have days where you would just want to go back to what was familiar. I went through culture shock in Peru, Argentina, and even when we moved back to the USA! Anytime your life is uprooted, you will be tempted to throw in the towel! I love what Corrie ten Boom’s father said to her when she was a little girl.
When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer.
Instead of throwing it all away, trust your Father. His will is more important than your will. If He led you there, He will be with you in the dark days, holding you with His right hand.
“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” Isaiah 41:10
Keep Working on Your Relationship With Your Husband.
Don’t neglect your marriage. Don’t let him neglect your marriage. Stay close to one another. Go on date nights. Read good books on marriage. Have fun together. Appreciate your man and the work that he is doing for the Lord. You need time together to relax.
Culture shock is real, but it is possible to defeat it. You can win the battle and live a joyful life in a country where the differences are extreme. Someday you will look back in wonder at all God did to bring you through the hard days!
Encourage Yourself in the Lord.
Once you leave home, you are “out of sight and out of mind.” People may keep in touch for a short time, but you can’t rely on them to pump you up. If you are only encouraged when people are telling you that you are doing a good job, then you will soon be discouraged. You can’t rely on your husband, your mom, your pastor, or your mission board you can only trust that God is always with you and is there for you! The Holy Spirit comforts you. He is with you day and night. When you can’t turn to anyone else, you can pour out your struggles to God. You might be able to relate to what David felt in 1 Samuel 30:6, “And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.”