The following is an exert from chapter 8 of the book Missionary Guidebook For Ladies by Mindy Bush
Advice for the New Missionary
Before you even get to the field, develop a relationship with the missionary wife you will be working under. Realize that she has been there for a while, and things that are normal to her are not to you. Try to maintain a relationship with her. There really is no excuse these days to not be able to stay in contact with someone overseas. The time difference is probably the hardest thing, but it can still be worked out. You may not get an immediate response through messaging, but you can still message each other. As you build a friendship before even getting there, you are also going to become familiar with their ministry and the people they are discipling and working with. It is always exciting to finally meet the people that you have heard about and prayed for.
Obviously during this time, you will want to find out what things to bring from the USA, but instead of asking, “What all should I bring?” just tell her what you use on a daily basis and find out if those items are available. If you are planning a survey trip, most of these questions will be answered during that time.
If she is back in the States, see if you can help her shop or pack for their next term. You can learn so much from her by doing this. You see what she is taking, and you will also learn how to pack. But don’t be judgmental, please. “Oh, you’re taking Lindor chocolate truffles? I haven’t had those in 2 years.” It would be pretty silly to judge her for anything their family enjoys on rare occasions. On the flip-side, find out what things she likes, and make a mental note to pack away some of it in your own bags when you move so you can surprise her with something special (hint: maybe some Lindor chocolate truffles).
Once you get to the field, go the extra mile to NOT be a burden. They will be and have been going the extra mile to help you get settled in. They probably will pick you up from the airport, give you a place to stay for a few days in their own home, help you find a house, feed you meals, help you find a houseworker and a language school, translate paperwork, interpret everything you need to hear and say, help you find furniture and a vehicle, and answer TONS of your questions.
Many new missionaries don’t realize HOW MUCH work the veteran wife actually does to help a new missionary settle into a new country. Be grateful for everything they have done for you. You should carry the financial load during this time of your move by paying for meals, transportation, and babysitters. They are doing all of this to help you move in, so the expenses are really yours, even if you don’t understand the language or currency yet. Someday you will be in their shoes, helping the next newbie. Don’t treat the veteran as if you deserve better because you are the new one. Be respectful of their time. Realize that when the veteran missionary wife gives up her day to help you settle in, she then has to go back to fix a meal for her family or do ministry. Be extremely grateful for all they do for you.
Make sure those first days are GOOD with your new team. Your first days on the field WILL set the tone for how your relationship is going to be. The veteran missionary is someone you want to have a good relationship with. The devil works extra hard to destroy that relationship because he knows that a team can do more together than alone. You do need each other, you need someone you can confide in, you need someone you can pray with. Set the tone in a positive way!
You may get overwhelmed being under the amount of stress that comes as you look for a home, buy appliances and furniture, and adjust to the culture, language, food, weather, and even strange smells! You will need to pray for God to help you be calm and positive in a hectic time of life. It is exciting and what you have been waiting for, but it can feel as if you are under a tremendous amount of pressure. Try very hard to not be negative. This can be offensive to your teammates, who love their people and country.
If you must stay in the missionary’s home as you look for your own place to rent, be courteous and helpful. During times when you aren’t busy, go on a walk and give the missionary family time alone. Go visit a grocery store, sit in the plaza, watch the people. If the missionary family has children, take them with you! They would love the chance to go on a little adventure with you and possibly get a little treat! Take them to a playground and let the missionary couple have some time alone. Help with meals. Don’t ask what you can do to help, just do something. Take out the trash. Do the dishes, fold laundry, pick up the living room, wipe down the table. Make the work lighter for your missionary friend in her home. When the time comes for you to move into your new house, make sure you clean up the room you stayed in.
Be careful to not overstay your welcome in the missionary’s home. After a few days if you haven’t found a house yet, it would be beneficial for all involved if you found a hotel or small apartment to rent until you can find something more permanent. Sometimes veteran missionaries have been able to find a house or apartment before the new family arrives. It’s always better to see a place before you move in, but there are times that the best thing to do is rent ahead of time so you are ready to move in as soon as you arrive.
Buying furniture or appliances in a foreign country with strange currency and customs can be more overwhelming than you can even begin to understand! I would encourage you to just trust the missionary’s judgement on where and how to make purchases, or go out on your own to explore and figure it out. The veteran missionary wife can’t drive you all over town looking for the “perfect” kitchen table before you make a decision. You won’t always be able to find a “good deal” like you can in the USA. Remember, you aren’t in the USA and things are done differently. This is just part of it! In Argentina, it was very frustrating for me that, when I wanted to buy something even as small as an iron, I had to pick out what I wanted with the help of an employee, who would then take me to a desk to “put in my order,” then give me a ticket to take to another desk to pay for it, at which point I would go to another desk to get the receipt, and then yet another desk to pick up the iron! And on my way out of the store I would have to show that I had paid for it! It’s a process that takes time, even for little things like an iron! Patience is key!
