The following is an exert from chapter 8 of the book Missionary Guidebook For Ladies by Mindy Bush
In the last two articles, we saw Advice for the New Missionary Wife, and in this article we will specifically see Advice for the Veteran Wife when it comes to “Working As A Team.”
You may have had the advantage of being on the field longer and have most likely learned quite a bit. It’s easy to forget your own first days and the times when you felt like pulling your hair out over something trivial. Try to be patient with your new teammates. Don’t have high expectations or you will be hurt. You may be excited that you have a friend coming that speaks your own language, but don’t expect a friendship to happen overnight just because you are from the same country. As she goes through culture shock, show her grace. Watch your words. She doesn’t realize she is going through culture shock even if you see it yourself so give her grace.
Try to be available for her when she calls and needs something. Yes, she should learn to become independent, but at the same time, she doesn’t have anyone else to turn to for help. Be gracious and kind. Be thankful she is asking you for help instead of leaning too heavily on her husband who needs to be working and learning the ministry and language. If you can teach her how to take public transportation, how to order a taxi, how to text a babysitter, or how to order carry-out, then she will have other resources that she can turn to. You could consider making up a welcome packet with some of this information and giving it to her on her arrival.
Remember that the new missionary wife is there to learn from you. Give her opportunities to grow. Take her with you when you disciple someone or when you visit a new mom in the hospital. Invite her to help you prepare and take a meal to a church member. Ask for her input on ideas for the ladies’ or children’s ministry. Allow her to oversee an event with your help or the national pastor’s wife’s help. Once she learns the language well enough, ask her to teach a ladies class.
I asked our group of missionary wives to share some ways to help the new missionary! They had some really fun and neat ideas that were a big help to their new teammates!
“She had purchased cleaning products for our house. Each one was labeled in English to explain the contents, which was so helpful! A year later I still use pretty much the same brands that she picked out.”
“She helped babysit my kids while we were shopping for our house, introduced us to people, helped us unpack, and even set up the house.”
“Help them get phones and internet set up in their home (sometimes this has to be done weeks ahead), provide meals for the first few days for them, share contacts for doctors, dentists, etc. Take her to different places so she gets familiar with the city and where to shop for necessities, help her learn the currency, ingredients (substitutes), be positive about her new home, love on her children, help them enroll the children in school if that is what they are planning on doing.”
“She took me to the store for the first time and showed me the brands that she felt were good and cultural things that were totally acceptable, especially things I wouldn’t know like breaking off one yogurt off a pack of six to buy.”
“Invite them over so they don’t feel so lonely those first few weeks. Get to know them on a deeper level. Be encouraging and selfless with them. Keep their kids while they shop or unpack their new home. Show them how to greet people and help them to know what things would offend the people. Even explaining new noises they will hear such as the trash collector playing “Fur Elise” or the ice cream truck blowing a horn.”
A missionary team that works together can do so much more than one that is divided over jealousy and pride. The devil will work overtime to divide your missionary team. There are usually more problems between teammates on the mission field than almost any other problem! I want to end this chapter with ten Biblical applications and verses for you to go through when you are tempted to have wrong thoughts about the team God has allowed you to work with.
- Be willing to serve. (John 13:14) If Jesus was humble enough to wash the disciple’s feet, we can be humble enough to do what our senior missionary asks of us. (Galatians 5:13)
- Prefer your brother and sister; put them above your own wants and desires. (Romans 12:10) Do unto others as you would want them to do to you. (Luke 6:31)
- Accept your brother/sister like Christ accepts you. (Romans 15:7)
- Don’t destroy each other. (Galatians 5:15)
- Don’t be jealous or “provoke.” In other words, don’t be annoying or irritating. (Galatians 5:26)
- Help one another (Galatians 6:2)
- Put up with each other. (Ephesians 4:2)
- Be tenderhearted and forgiving with each other. (Ephesians 4:32)
- If there is a wrong done towards you, give grace, just like Christ does for us. (Romans 5:20)
- Spend and be spent. Take up your cross and die to self. (2 Corinthians 12:15; Matthew 16:24)
These principles not only apply to teamwork, but can be beneficial for your marriage as well. Don’t let the devil have victory! Give up your wants and desires and do what Christ would want you to do!
