The following is an exert from chapter 10 of the book Missionary Guidebook For Ladies by Mindy Bush.
Where do we learn what a godly marriage looks like? Definitely not from the world. We can’t look at this world’s view of marriage because it is totally distorted! Marriage between a man and woman is now ridiculed and scorned! The culture we now live in pushes homosexuality, feminism, affairs, pornography, divorce, cohabitation, and many other agendas. You must have a healthy view of marriage and the only way to have that is to understand what a godly marriage looks like.
This is important, not only for you, but also for your kids! What they see in your marriage, they will grow up thinking normal and will replicate in their own marriages. This next generation depends on us to teach and exemplify what true biblical marriage is! Many children of pastors and missionaries have grown up in a hypocritical home that only outwardly showed God’s love. At home, their parents were one way and at church, they were another way. This is confusing for kids, and many have left the faith and have even gone to the total opposite extreme, renouncing God and turning to the world’s model of gender and social ideals. If you don’t believe this, just read Romans 1:20-32.
The biblical truth is that God created marriage to be a reflection of Jesus’ love and dedication for the church (us). When Satan destroys a good marriage, this picture is also destroyed. When the world sees a happily married couple, they marvel and God gets the glory! We need to work on our marriage because Satan is like a roaring lion, ready to devour it! He also wants to hurt your ministry, so when he destroys a marriage, he has killed two birds with one stone! How many missionaries and pastors would still be serving God today if they hadn’t stopped working on their marriage!
We can’t work on our marriage until we understand our roles in marriage. Genesis 2:18 says, “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” This is the wife’s role to be a helper for him. It’s not demeaning. It’s an honor to be able to help our man! Many people would say that the wife is a second class citizen because God didn’t make her the head, but God uses the same word for help meet in the Hebrew (EZER) that he uses for Himself. The Lord is our EZER (our helper). Thank God we have a Helper as we are our husband’s helper!
In the next verse, Genesis 2:19, we find man’s role in life. “And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.” God gave man a job, and this gives him purpose in life. When we criticize our husband because of his job, we are stripping away his dignity because this is who God created him to be!
Genesis 2:20 says, “And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.” It seems here that God wanted Adam to see the void in his life, that he needed a companion too! As all those animals passed by him, he must have wondered, “Male, female, male, female, where’s my companion?”
We know the rest of the story because this is where we were created! God made women for a very specific purpose! We can be content only when we realize our role and take it seriously.
My husband often says, “If you are working on your marriage, your marriage is working!” So many people just give up. We have been married for over 24 years now and I can honestly say that it is the best thing that has happened to me, after salvation! I am so thankful for my husband and for his desire for us to continue to work on our marriage constantly.
Whether your marriage is good or bad, I would like to challenge you to work on the principles found in God’s Word! Every marriage could be better!
