The following is an exert from chapter 6 of the book Missionary Guidebook For Ladies by Mindy Bush
Life is crazy. Life in ministry is crazier. You will need to be intentional and make time with your kids count.
Family should come before ministry, but family shouldn’t hinder ministry. Don’t use your kids as an excuse to not do ministry, but also don’t allow the busyness of ministry to strip away memories with your kids. Jump on the trampoline with them, teach them to ride a bike, roller skate, play hide-and-seek in the dark. If Dad wants to play soccer in the living room to spend time with his son, let him. Don’t just “let” him; encourage him. Get in on the fun.
You can still do ministry and spend quality time with your kids. Involve them in everything you do, if possible. They can go on visitation with you or help you make food or gifts for people. They can sit on your lap while you play the piano and practice for the church service. They can go with you when you do discipleship. If the other lady has children, it will be good for them to go and play with the other kids. Just because you have children doesn’t mean you can’t do ministry.
Invite them to sacrifice with you. Teach them to be generous. If the church has a special giving project, encourage them to get in on the fun! Let them have a little allowance so they can learn to give back!
How do you have quantity time with your kids? Have daily routines. Have a meal together once a day at least. In Argentina, our meal together was lunch, and then we had siesta time, as it was the culture there. We didn’t always take a siesta, but we used that free time to be together as family since you couldn’t do anything else in the country because everyone was napping. We would take a walk around our neighborhood and sing and talk. Jeff would take the kids around on his motorcycle. We would go to the park and let them skate.
Quantity time does NOT mean child-centered family where everything revolves around the child and what he/she wants to do. Children must learn that they don’t get to do everything they want to do.
Sadly, there are some moms who just don’t want to be around their kids. Do you realize that they are God’s gift to you? What are you doing with God’s gift? A child left to himself brings his mother to shame. You will regret it later on down the road when your child doesn’t love Jesus or want to serve God. Do you find yourself looking for ways to “get rid” of your child, whether it is putting him in a day camp, day care, or anything to get him out of your hair? There’s nothing wrong with these things on occasion, but if you are a missionary wife, stay-at-home mom, there’s no excuse for it. Many years ago, it was common for missionaries to send their children off to boarding school so they could do ministry. One thing they didn’t realize is how much of an asset the children could have been for the ministry and how much their children missed out by not being with their parents. Families need to be together. In some countries that have a strong push for education, you might find yourself falling into the same trap that the kids must have the best education available. They could potentially be gone for ten hours a day, come home and still have schoolwork to do. Be careful to always re-evaluate your life and what is going on in your children’s lives.
What does the Bible say about how we should spend time with our children?
“And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7
