A Chance to Die: Counting the Cost Without Glamorizing Pain (Part 3)

Part 3 of a six-part series on Suffering, Wisdom, and Staying on the Mission Field - This is a series is taken from a Missions Class at Vision School of Missions led by Missionary Kevin White. The book by Don Mingo, "The Cross-Cultural Worker's Spiritual Survival Guide 14 Tips to Help You Thrive in Your Calling," was used as textbook and resource material for discussion.

Amy Carmichael once responded to a young woman asking about missionary life with a stark sentence:

“Missionary life is simply a chance to die.”

It’s a stunning answer. In one sense, it’s deeply biblical. In another sense, if we misunderstand it, it can become dangerous.

Let’s unpack both sides.

The biblical heart behind “a chance to die”

Jesus said:

• “If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.”
• Paul wrote, “I will very gladly spend and be spent for you.”

Missionary life is a call to die:

• to comfort,
• to control,
• to predictable plans,
• sometimes to safety,
• and ultimately, if God so chooses, even to physical life.

Amy Carmichael spent 55 years in India without furlough, rescuing and discipling vulnerable children. You don’t do that unless you have already died to self and said, “Not my will, but Thine be done.”

In that sense, she was exactly right:
missions is a chance to die to self so that others might live eternally.

The danger of a “martyr complex”

But there’s another side we have to be honest about.

Some people develop what you might call a martyr complex:

• They need to suffer to feel spiritual.
• They ignore wise counsel in order to prove their devotion.
• They make reckless choices with health, safety, and family, not out of obedience, but out of pride.

Historically, some missionaries refused basic precautions:

• refusing to go to higher, cooler ground during dangerous hot seasons,
• staying in situations that were clearly destroying their family,
• neglecting medical treatment when it was available.

Yes, God used many of them in powerful ways. But that doesn’t mean every one of their decisions was wise or biblical.

Courage is not the same as recklessness.

Sacrifice and wisdom

We have to hold two truths together:

1. We must be willing to sacrifice deeply for Christ.
   No sugarcoating. No false promises of an easy road.
2. We must also use wisdom to care for our families and ourselves.
   Not because we’re fragile snowflakes, but because:

“Without our family, we don’t have a ministry.”

That may mean:

• Choosing a different city or altitude because of a child’s serious health condition.
• Taking time away from a region during intense, targeted violence against foreigners.
• Saying “no” to a pattern of decisions that is clearly crushing your spouse or children.

Those choices are not a lack of faith. They can be an expression of faithful stewardship.

How do you know if you’re crossing the line?

Some diagnostic questions:

• Am I ignoring wise, godly counsel because I want to “prove” something?
• Am I secretly hoping to be known as the one who “suffered most”?
• Am I unwilling to adjust my location, pace, or strategy even if my family is clearly unraveling?
• Am I using “sacrifice” language to cover my own pride or stubbornness?

If the honest answer to some of those is “yes,” you may not be walking in biblical sacrifice—you may be veering toward a martyr complex.

What we should be aiming for

A healthy, biblical missionary mindset sounds more like this:

“I am willing to live or die for Christ,

but I will not manufacture danger or ignore wisdom to feel heroic.

I will use wise counsel, care for my family, and trust God with the cost.”

“Missionary life is a chance to die” doesn’t mean:

• “I must kill myself quickly by refusing rest, help, or wisdom.”

It means:

• “I present my life as a living sacrifice, day after day, in whatever way God chooses to spend me.”

The missionaries who last aren’t usually the loudest about their suffering.
They’re the ones who quietly, steadily die to self—
and who also humbly receive help, adjust course when needed, and endure for decades.

Reflection Questions

1. When you hear Amy Carmichael’s line, “Missionary life is simply a chance to die,” how do you instinctively respond—drawn in or pushed away? Why?
2. Where do you see the difference between biblical sacrifice and a martyr complex in your own attitudes or expectations?
3. In what ways might pride hide behind “spiritual-sounding” language about suffering and sacrifice?
4. How would you explain to a young person the balance between being willing to die to self and still using wise precautions and counsel?